Free Range Family

I do apologize for being absent from the blog all week. On Monday, we lost someone in our family somewhat unexpectedly. I do not think I am ready to share who we lost with you all this week, but know that it was someone very close to us. It was on my side of the family but he was special to everyone, including Lon. We loved him so very much. He will be dearly missed.   I feel bad for not posting almost all week, but I really needed to take some personal family time away. In Buddhism, death is not seen as something bad, its seen as more of a doorway. Thus, I am not upset for the death itself. I know that he was hurting a lot and am glad his is at peace now. He is not gone from our lives, just onto his next great journey. :) However, I was needed to support many of my mourning family members. I was actually put in charge of telling most of my siblings, something I was not necessarily prepared for. I had to do it though, I just thought of how I would feel if I was not...

The new season of 19 Kids and Counting premiered recently. I'm not sure if you watch it but I do. I find their life intriguing and I surprisingly agree with alot of their morals of life. Their children are so beautiful! I think they have some of the best behaved children in this whole nation! Not to mention, they raise those 19 children  DEBT FREE! Even we have debt! Wow! :) I think Michelle is an amazing wife and mother, I wish I could be as awesome as her! She is one of my heroes! Seriously! My husband thinks they are completely insane and I am just as crazy for liking them lol. But I do. I watch their show religiously. :) Hi, my name is Jillian and I am addicted to 19 Kids and Counting... I wish I could be crazy enough to have that many kids lol... Last season, Michelle and Jim Bob lost their 20th child. Michelle was 18 weeks along and they found out it was a baby girl. They named her Jubilee Shalom and hled a funeral for her at their church. The last ...

Today would have been Rosalie's fifth birthday. This obviously isn't Rosalie, but I think of her when I see this. :) For those of you that don't know, Rosalie passed away at fifteen weeks gestation  on December 18, 2006. She was my first pregnancy and I was still in high school. Her due date was June 10, 2007 and I like to remember that day as her birthday. It is a day of memory for me. Its crazy to think that over five years has gone by since she passed on. At this point in my life, I have overcome any sadness I have over her and am just willing to celebrate her giving me the greatest gift: Motherhood. Because I believe that even though she didn't make it past fifteen weeks gestation, she was the one who made me a mother first. I grew up a lot the day I found out I was pregnant with her and have not regrets since. I do think that I am at a different place than I was with her last year. I think this has a lot to do with Anna's upcoming arrival. Anna wi...

Today would be Rosalie's fourth birthday. That is, today is the fourth year anniversary since her due date. June 10, 2007. I like to think of it as her birthday though. It has actually helped me with my coping process, thinking of today as a day to remember her positively instead of remembering this as a day that did not come for her. I have made piece with her passing, and some day our souls will meet again. My family has a very interesting theory about the afterlife that we like to believe. We believe that our soul becomes a energy force that can choose to embody any and all things. Its kind of like rebirth and reincarnation, only we believe that a soul can embody many different things at one time. We like to think of Rosalie as a free spirit now, able to go wherever she pleases. She will always have a place in our hearts though, I feel like she is always with me. I hope that wherever she is, she is at peace and she is happy. And wherever she is, she has a happy birthda...

Today is Worldwide Pregnancy/Infant Loss Awareness Day. Please take the time to remember and support all who is affected by pregnancy/infant loss, as they often do not get a lot of support. Losing a child or even a pregnancy is one of the worst things that a woman could go through, yet the majority of women have gone through it in some way and don't receive any comfort. We must give them support and hope so that they can one day overcome their sadness and make peace with their loss. I remember you today my beloved Rosalie June, though I doubt I will ever forget you. I think about you everyday and wish you were here with Lon, Alan and I. I miss you so badly and love you with all of my heart. Lon and Alan love you endlessly also, even though they've never met you. Rest peacefully, my beautiful girl. <3 I also remember baby Ewan Eliezer, who earned his Angel Wings October 4th (my husband's birthday, that's so much sadder!) as a result of CHD.  I have never met you o...