Monday, April 4, 2011

I apologize about being MIA... Again!

My family has just been struggling with some personal issues this past weekend. I won't go too deep into it, but for those of you who don't know, my husband has both Bipolar Mania and ADHD. I've recently decided to stop sharing our story with people (I was originally doing it for support and to make more awareness about Bipolar Mania), because it seems that even though I present them with all the correct information and am just asking for support, they just tell me that he's abusive and that I should leave him before Alan gets too old. What??? First thing, I will NEVER leave my husband alone, I've been his main pillar now for almost three years, and leaving him will just destroy him as a person. He is dependent on me for emotional support. Of course, I am always thinking of my and Alan's personal safety, but honestly? We are not in any danger. Lon has never directed any of his anger at Alan, and has never physically hurt me. We are safe, and anyways I'm more worried about Lon's mental state than anything, so can we go back to that? Second, who was the ONE person who supported me and helped pull me out of my Postpartum Anxiety Disorder and OCD last year? Lon. So then why would I just abandon him when its simply my turn to return the favor? That'd be too cold-hearted of me. He is making progress and is doing a lot better, we just have our ups and downs, as is normal with any illness. I guess what I'm really trying to get out of all this is, I want support for helping my husband not negative reinforcement that will only make me doubt myself. I doubted myself as Lon's caretaker all weekend and because that, my weekend wasn't good. I just need to stop doubting myself and use that energy to help Lon.

For those of you interested in reading more about Bipolar and how to help someone with it, I've found a wonderful woman for that job. Please check out her blog here -------------------------->

http://natashatracy.com/mental-illness-issues/breaking-bipolar-articles-read-updated-resources/

This is a song that makes me think of Lon and I's relationship together everytime I hear it. Its by Daft Punk (of course lol) and the lyrics are so true. <3 The music video is from a movie called Interstellar 5555, in case it seems confusing.



Now for some positive!! :D Alan and I  went to the circus Saturday night with Grandma Melanie, Grandpa Kevin, Aunt Natalie, her friend Mary, Aunt April, Uncle Kalvin and cousin Morgan. We had a great time with my family! Alan enjoyed the acrobats, clowns, and tigers but his favorite of all was the elephants. He loved standing in our laps pointing, yelling and clapping with the rest of the audience. And he would even cover his mouth and say "Oh no!" at the right times lol. Oh it is so much fun for me to watch him enjoying things. :) We got him a sword with a ball at the end of it that lit up and played music. We had to leave it at Grandma and Grandpa's house yesterday because Alan won't let it leave his side lol. He was trying to take it to bed with him that night lol. Wild man! <3

Yesterday for Family Sunday, we decided to get some much needed spring cleaning done. We cleaned the living room, both bedrooms and the kitchen cleaned. Whoo! We continued to potty train Alan, and he made eleven trips to the potty yesterday! Seven of those trips were successful and he even made a little poop in there too! Go Alan, we're progressing again!! :D As a reward, we took him for another walk around the neighborhood. He loved that so much! At one point, we passed by a cat and Alan started chasing it down, yelling "Puppy! Puppy!" Lon caught up to him real quick (no worries) but I had to catch my breath because I was laughing so hard! :P Love my son and love spending my Sundays with my boys! It makes the hard weeks all worth it. <3

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