Tuesday, February 19, 2013

On Being "Good Enough"

We all want to be perfect, don't we? I think that everyone does, even if they don't always admit it. Even just maybe being "good enough." I wrote about being perfect in terms of beauty earlier this month. Oftentimes, I struggle with being good enough myself. Good enough as a person, good enough as a daughter, good enough as a sister, good enough as a friend, as a practicing Buddhist, as an adult, as a wife, as a parent, the list goes on and on. Most nights, I lie in bed awake for hours after everyone else has fallen asleep, thinking of all the things I should have done and all the things I still need to do. I lay there in bed, literally frozen there, thinking about everything. I do not enjoy it one bit, I wish I could sleep but I just cannot. It is very stressful for me, I have not admitted this to a lot of people. As most of you know, I did have generalized anxiety disorder and obsessive complusive disorder, which means that even though I have gone through tons of therapy and personal growth to overcome them, I do still have the tendancy to go back to them at any given moment. For those of you who have mental illnesses, you know that it is almost a constant battle to stay "normal." I think that has a lot to do with it. But why?

Honestly I think it has several reasons, a few that we don't even realize ourselves.

Television. That's a big one. We see perfect families and people on television all the time, on a daily basis really. Whether they are real or fictional, it does not really matter. We are conditioned by them all the same. Because the truth is even reality television shows are not fully real. People act differently in front of a camera, period. Peers. The people around us greatly influences our personal views of ourselves. For example, someone who is bullied will most likely not be happy with themselves or their life. Celebrities. Similar to the first one, but also different so I had to add it. We all see celebrities, either in public or their daily lives, and think that's how it should be. That is the way my life should look. Once again, almost everyone does this whether they admit it or not. Its why people complain about celebrities having too much money. They subconsciously think that they should have the money too. Upbringing. In certain situations, a person's upbringing will affect this. If you are raised with high expectations in everything you do, as an adult you may struggle with feeling this way a lot. I can attest to this, but for slightly a different reason. I was not raised with high expectations by my parents, but I sure did have my own high expectations for myself that I had to uphold. I was not diagnosed until I was quite a bit older, but I am pretty sure I have both GAD and OCD as a child. I had to be perfect then, just like now lol. Mental Illness. Like I just mentioned, having certain mental illnesses will do this to you. I have had these illnesses and have struggled with perfection because of it.

What can we do about perfection?

Tell it to shut up! Do not listen to it! We are perfect as ourselves because we are ourselves! We need not try harder to be perfect when we are so perfect already! You are amazing, wonderful, beautiful, and PERFECT all because you are you!!

And also:
Love Yourself
Breathe, Deeply
Be Yourself
Get Yourself a Present
Be in the Moment
Love Others
Hug a Child
Be a Human
Exercise to Clear Your Mind
Find Nirvana, Like Really Look For it
Kiss a Baby
Spend Time in Nature and With Animals
Live Life Like its Your Last Day on Earth
Share a Secret
Be Charitable
Spread the Love
Be Still.

What is good enough for you in your life? Do you often struggle with perfection? Please share with me your thoughts and feelings! We are all along the wonderful journey of this life, let us share experiences to gain knowledge. Okay, that's enough of me being philosophical.

In other news:
Anna is sick again. Ugh, Lon and I honestly think its this house. No, not in some weird Amityville Horror sort of way lol but our heating system is old and out dated, thus dry heat and lots of colds for all of us. Me no likey. :/ I am taking her to the doctor later today because her cough has finally gotten bad enough that I no longer think it is just a cold. It reminds me of Alan's croup cough he had when he was a baby. Let's hope that the doctor can figure out what ails her!

I am just totally OBSESSED with this new mom blog I found this weekend called Modern Colors. And when I say "new mom blog" I mean newly found mom blog as well as new to motherhood blog. Miss Hollie's beautiful bouncing baby boy is around a month old, if I am correct. Oh I love newborns and new motherhood! There is something soooooooooooooo very special about those first few weeks after birth. Not to mention that she herself is awesome! From her Renaissance Faires to her super cool artwork to her son's awesome name River to her random quirkiness, I seriously may have found another online blogging buddy for life lol.


I hope everyone has a great day today! I will be sure to keep everyone updated on Anna. Please send her well wishes and healing thoughts!

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